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Animal Requiem is an album to celebrate and honour all animals from composer Rachel Fuller.

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Animal Requiem

IT IS WORTH IT

On October 2nd of last year we said goodbye to our beautiful yorkie Wistle. Wistle had slept by my head and followed me to the toilet for 13 years and everything in between. And the loss of her broke my heart. Three days later, completely unexpectedly in the middle of the night, our poodle Cracker who was only 11, had a terrible seizure and also passed away. I think he had to be with her. Although they were not particlularly close, Cracker was the remaining one from our original pack. This overlaying of grief on top of grief was so heavy to bear. I had just finished writing the final track for the requiem and I had had a feeling we would lose Wistle who had been ill for sometime. And at times it did feel the pain was too great to bear. My heart felt physical pain. And after every loss I always feel “it’s not worth it. I can’t do this again”. But the truth is. It is worth it. The pain we feel is equal to the love we feel when they pass. So it runs very deeply. I’m not sure Time does heal, but it does pass. And I refocus more on the love and the fun we shared than the pain of their passing. And I know the spirit is eternal and everywhere at all times. But I do miss their physical bodies and the relationship I had with them and my five human senses. Yes. Even the taste. Haha. Gross. I love them all. I miss them all. They are with me still. And from the essence of all of this badly articulated sentiment, I composed the Animal Requiem. in the hope that the music says “it IS worth it”. And you are not alone.

Love rachel x x

Comments: 6

  • Lisa
    Reply October 7, 2019 4:14 pm

    Perfectly stated.The pain changes with time,yet remains a dull ache when thought of.
    I cried for 3 months after Lady died in late 2000,followed. The loss of my son’s bunny.
    I said never again…until 2 years ago,when Ygraine crashed into our lives.
    Nailed it perfectly Rachel.NAILED IT.❤️

  • John Barry
    Reply October 7, 2019 5:04 pm

    More power to you Rachel. We have an adopted greyhound girl in our pack. Two lost recently. One to bone cancer, another to toxic shock as a result of a spider bite. It is only because of the many beautiful, magical moments that we have with our pets, that we grow to love them so. When their time comes to leave us, it hurts like an utter bastard, but I would take the times we had with our fur-kids in a heartbeat, yes, even with the devastation of losing them, rather than never having had them in our life. I agree with you totally that they never leave us. Every day I sense their being near. Maybe sometimes even their taste 🙂 Thank you for Animal Requiem, it is a truly wonderful work and celebrates the joy of our beloved pets. Go well!!

  • Lynda, graceisme22
    Reply October 7, 2019 5:09 pm

    This is a beautiful post. I’m trying to swallow the lump in my throat, and wipe the tears. It is so well said Rachel. You prove the worth with the immense love you have for your pack now. Our loved ones are always with us, but the pain, as you say is so hard to bear. With that Animal Requiem was born. 🐾❤️🎶🙏 x

  • Gigi Barlowe
    Reply October 7, 2019 9:35 pm

    Dearest Rachel,
    This is a beautiful blog post. It sums up all the feelings perfectly. I have lost 4 dogs in my lifetime and it feels as though I will never recover when it happens…. as though I can’t possibly stand the pain…. but I’ve learned to live with the losses even though they hurt so deeply and then the next beautiful soul that comes along is never the same…. but different and I fall in love in a new way. We have had 2 at the same time for awhile now and the two we have now are so bonded…I don’t know how they will handle a loss and I stress over that at times. But I always say that a home without animals… in my case, Pitbulls…. is like a garden without any flowers and a day without sunshine. Thanks for posting. ♥️

  • Karen Key
    Reply October 8, 2019 6:56 pm

    Thank you, Rachel, for your post. I understand that grief all too well, and I also am not sure that time heals. In some ways it gets harder as time passes, but it is also possible to remember the love, fun and good times. And I too so miss the physical bodies and the personalities of the animals I have loved even though I know that spirit is eternal. I do hope there will one day be a great reunion when I, too, leave my physical body. Lots of love to you, Pete and all the beloveds.

  • Tomoko (aka blue) Mitsumoto
    Reply October 9, 2019 3:47 pm

    Hi Rachel!

    I’m sorry to hear Wistle and Cracker passed away.
    It reminds me My cat Sora Abyssinian passed away last September.
    She also had slept by my head like Wistle. I miss her so much.
    I believe the spirit is eternal and everywhere at all times and she is with
    me still….
    Yes we are not alone.
    Thanks for your touching message.
    I always bring it with my heart.

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