IT IS WORTH IT
On October 2nd of last year we said goodbye to our beautiful yorkie Wistle. Wistle had slept by my head and followed me to the toilet for 13 years and everything in between. And the loss of her broke my heart. Three days later, completely unexpectedly in the middle of the night, our poodle Cracker who was only 11, had a terrible seizure and also passed away. I think he had to be with her. Although they were not particlularly close, Cracker was the remaining one from our original pack. This overlaying of grief on top of grief was so heavy to bear. I had just finished writing the final track for the requiem and I had had a feeling we would lose Wistle who had been ill for sometime. And at times it did feel the pain was too great to bear. My heart felt physical pain. And after every loss I always feel “it’s not worth it. I can’t do this again”. But the truth is. It is worth it. The pain we feel is equal to the love we feel when they pass. So it runs very deeply. I’m not sure Time does heal, but it does pass. And I refocus more on the love and the fun we shared than the pain of their passing. And I know the spirit is eternal and everywhere at all times. But I do miss their physical bodies and the relationship I had with them and my five human senses. Yes. Even the taste. Haha. Gross. I love them all. I miss them all. They are with me still. And from the essence of all of this badly articulated sentiment, I composed the Animal Requiem. in the hope that the music says “it IS worth it”. And you are not alone.
Love rachel x x